Navigating Motherhood and Global Work: A Year of Love, Challenge… And a Special Project Announcement

On September 21st, at 4.07 in the morning, our baby will have been on earth for a year.

Raven, you are the purest joy and my greatest spiritual teacher. You teach me every day a depth of love I never knew was possible, and you inspire me to be the most patient and forgiving person I can be. I have done many things and will continue to do more but being your mum (Aussie spelling) is the greatest thing I have ever done and will ever do. We love you like nothing else. Unconditionally. Forever. Your rock, your net, and your home.

Reflections on Motherhood

My early postpartum journey was far from the nesting and inward experience I had envisioned. My partner, Ryan, suddenly ended up in the hospital in a serious condition the day after Raven was born, where he stayed for several terrifying weeks due to ensuing surgical complications. I drove myself home from the hospital in a thunderstorm, a muted gray mist painted thickly over the distant mountains like the first winter’s snow, mirroring all the murky uncertainty permeating my gut. I could not bring myself to respond to the excited congratulatory texts, holding my breath as I wrapped my tiny newborn in soft clothes and drove her daily to the dim shell of a hospital room.

Still, I was fortunate enough to have tremendous love and support from both sides of our family, a roof over my head and warm bath water. Even through those more challenging, dawn postpartum days of worry and confusion, I understood with a pang how much easier my motherhood odyssey was than the overwhelming majority of the world. The challenges of birth and postpartum recovery are heart-wrenching for countless families in war-torn and third-world countries, where the struggle to survive often overshadows the joy of new life.

For far too many families, bringing a child into a world of instability and scarcity means facing unimaginable hardships—lack of medical care, inadequate nutrition, and the constant threat of violence. The emotional and physical toll on new mothers, already battling the trauma of conflict or poverty, is profound. Each day, they grapple with the exhaustion of recovery while trying to ensure their newborns have even the most basic needs met. It’s a desperate and heartbreaking reality, where the miracle of birth is overshadowed by a relentless fight for survival amidst chaos and deprivation.

These were the stories I wanted, still want, to tell. When I visit a conflict zone of a pocket of the planet in crisis, I can leave – an enormous privilege I hold with a heavy heart as I understand the fathers and mothers around me cannot. Over the past year, I have often found myself floating between two worlds – the maternal caregiver, the other that still yearns for expeditions far and wide and stories that cast something of a candle flicker into a dark crevice.

The Paradox of Growth

What I wasn’t prepared for a year ago was the type of love that permeates every waking moment. We love our parents, siblings, pets, and closest friends. However, I could never have comprehended the love for a child; so profound and without words to do it justice. The flip side of that is trying to imagine the loss many parents around the world every day, as unnecessary wars rip through the cracks and crevices of our planet as we watch on from the other side of a frosted glass window, feeling all the things in a way I never could before.

I was also far from ready for the tremendous internal paradox I would feel every day: how much you want your baby to stay just as they are – precious and tiny and staring at the world with innocent eyes – yet at the same time, how much you want them to grow up and flourish, learn, and give. Perhaps a part of us is fighting that battle for ourselves – clutching what we have but daring to expand on what we do.

I met my daughter a year ago, yet I also met myself in a new light, one that goes with the flow with a fistful of faith and fervent belief that stories still matter; a different type of stories. I realized that my greatest desires for Raven are to value kindness and to see the world—not just to look at it; but to really see it in all its fabulousness and fallibilities. How can I best parlay that to her? The darkness, light, and shades of gray—the desire for deep and meaningful work that is war, not only war. Hope. Happiness. Heart.

A year ago, I was not sure how I would feel or how I would navigate the friction of far-flung work and motherhood, but the honest truth now is that my appetite for the planet is still as capacious and large as it ever was. I still long to hunt armfuls of the globe and gather up anecdotes from the edges of the earth; this time with the added perspective that emanates from bringing an innocent soul into the world.

What has long fascinated me, and even more so now, is how mothers, fathers and caregivers function across different countries, cultures, tribes and terrains. There is so much beauty and wisdom to be gleaned and garnered but perhaps more importantly, understood. Thus, I am adding to my writing with a podcast that I hope will be entertaining and insightful, and I am excited to share this content with you!

Introducing Dispatches on Parenting Across Cultures

From the emerald mountains of Afghanistan to the bustling streets of Tokyo to the fishing villages of Alaska and everything in between, pregnancy and parenting is a universal experience with countless variations.

Each week starting next Tuesday, I sit down with mothers, fathers, experts worldwide, expats, and locals alike to uncover the unique challenges and triumphs of raising children in different parcels of the planet. From prenatal care to toddler tantrums, we delve deep into the heart of family life, sharing nuggets of wisdom, laughter, and inspiring stories that transcend borders. Discover the universal joys of parenthood and appreciate the rich diversity of our world, one eye-opening conversation at a time. 

I look forward to seeing you there! Please follow on. (Will be on all the normal platforms pods are find… can also listen below or YouTube!)

https://dispatcheswithholliemckay.buzzsprout.com

https://youtube.com/@holliesmckaywriter

On a side note, I can’t begin to tell you the number of people (mostly men, and mostly men I didn’t know well) who would profess to tell me that I couldn’t possibly continue my line of work after becoming a mother. (I am pretty sure they wouldn’t pepper male colleagues with those same statements). Of course, such decisions are evidently not theirs to make and being a role model for my baby girl, offering her a window to a wider world, is the greatest gift I can pass along.

Not everything needs to happen in silos. I can be a mother, I can be a working mother, and my worlds can meet somewhere on that tenuous and ever-changing horizon.

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For speaking queries please contact meta@metaspeakers.org

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